Home Abegunde Damola Books YOUR WIFE AND HOUSE CHORES – Pst. Ife ADETONA



Getting help for your wife starts with you. It is really not about money but your mindset. You, the husband, is your wife’s first help. My permanent chore in the house is plate washing. So, if anyone comes around and washes the plate, the person helps me.

Her second help is technology. You should be deliberate in buying tools & machines that relieve kitchen stress. After our wedding, the first thing we bought was a blender, followed by a fridge. That was before we got a TV or settee.

The third help is guests, friends & relatives that come around for visits and to spend some days. If they sleep over and eat food then, they should help one way or the other even if they are the husband’s siblings.

Then you talk about CONTRACT or PART-TIME DOMESTIC WORKERS (as your finances increases). My wife had never needed to wash heaps of clothes since our marriage. We always sort it in different ways. These days, we sort it by inviting someone to wash and get paid. I iron my wife’s clothes.

Then, we talk about LIVE-IN people be it family members, domestic staff or whatever. They are in to help as well. “Husband’s family members living in (more often than none) are more of an additional burden than a help to the wife”. You may want to read that twice.

Talking about meals. In our early days in marriage, I used to feel no one should cook for me other than my wife but because I am not wicked, that changed. If you have good electricity, bulk cooking with a helping hand is a big relief. You can portion it into the freezer. Another option is her making the soup & stew while you or someone else make the meal. She can cook sometimes and other people (live-in or staff) cook most times. Bulk buying of foodstuff is also a massive relief. If you can afford someone going to the market on your behalf, do it. And again, it’s not all about money but mindset. The last time my wife went to the market to buy foodstuff was a long time ago.

When you have a baby, you need help as much as you are capable of getting. I don’t think it can be too much at this point. Again, the most important place to start is the mindset either you earn low or high.

Personally, I hate house chores. I am a “purpose” person. I want my wife to fulfil her purpose and pursue her dreams. House chores are a big obstacle to this if it’s not taken off the road as much as possible. A number of times, I do tasks in the house even when there are people around to help. Nobody should live for chores.

Always remember that the Proverbs31 woman (virtuous woman) is a Proverbs31 woman because she has a lot of live-in domestic staff.


  1. 😅I am so happy this is coming from a married man, there are so many men out there who think totally opposite. House chores can be mentally draining and be an hinderance to pursuing ones dream if no help is provided.
    God bless you Pastor Ife!


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