Father, we thank you for the grace we received to be here tonight.
We say; Thank you, Jesus.
Sweet Holy Spirit, I ask that you speak to each person tonight in Jesus’ name.
Have your way and let Jesus alone be Glorified.
In Jesus’ name, we’ve prayed
Amen.
A-Z does not mean the totality of Courtship, but by the time we look into every points under this topic, add God’s Grace and you are good to go,
Because you will have a hitch free relationship and would have build something that will result into a lasting marriage
Hold the points I will be giving you tonight dear to your heart and practice them, your relationship and marriage is surely a success
You must be accountable to each other
1. Accountability
There is no relationship or marriage that can survive without being accountable to each other
There is a way your behavior is controlled if you know you are accountable to someone
You won’t behave anyhow
You won’t relate with the opposite sex anyhow
You won’t live your life carelessness
You won’t do whatever you know will hurt the order person if they get to know
You must be accountable to each other and it must be always
2. Boundaries
Anything and everything that will be successful must be run with principle
If you don’t set boundaries your relationship will be full of sin
To have a holy and pure relationship you must set boundaries
Healthy boundaries for yourselves
Won’t they call me an SU or and old school
I used to say that even if shaking of hands is going to put you in trouble, avoid it, don’t destroy your life with what people will say
Your life is your life, whatever you do with it will come back to you at the end of the day
Still on Boundaries
Or encourage that a lady you have not married is sleeping with you
Don’t say I don’t get unnecessarily arouse and carry your bag to go n be living in a man’s house
Set Boundaries with the third party
This falls the the male’s side more
If you don’t set boundaries with your friends and family, your wife or wife to be is not going to enjoy you
If your friend can talk to your spouse anyhow
You must be able to draw the line of how far they can go with your partner
Your family can humiliate her there will be problem
No one should be allowed to talk to your spouse anyhow because of whatever position they occupy in your life
You can decide to do away with the lady instead of torturing her with what your family think or want
Ladies pls don’t go and marry someone that his family hates you by fire by fire, don’t start what you can’t finish
You must stand for her
3. Communication
You won’t be able to tolerate insults and abuse for the rest of your life
Any relationship without communication has ended when it is barely starting
You can’t even do any relationship whatsoever without communication
You must always talk
What of me that doesn’t like to talk, you might have to check thoroughly if you are not with the wrong person
There is no one with a partner they love, someone that doesn’t shout them down, someone that listen to them and do not want to talk
You might not be the type that talk everywhere or at any giving opportunity but there will always be one person that knows everything going on with you because you always find it easy to open up to them
Between you two there must not be anything you can’t talk about as long as you are not sinning against God
You must be able to talk about everything and anything
They are not discussing important issues
Now, some people do talk but are just spilling rubbing out of their mouth because they are just talking for talking sake
Some of you will be on phone and the only thing you will do successfully in 2hours conversation is to giggle, smile, blush, ask if your partner have eaten or hungry
You come together face to face only to talk about things that are irrelevant to your lives☹️
Have seen married asked me questions and I wonder what they were talking about in Courtship🤷🏽♀️
Talk about everything
Don’t fantasize, base your discussions on fact
N don’t forget to know what your partner’s stand is on any matter you talk about
Know their stand, ask yourself if you are comfortable with it, and decide whether you have reached your destination or not
Also communication silence conflict as much as possible
4. Deliberate
It will help you resolve issues easily
But it is not all the time you communication you should deliberate
Normally communication should carry deliberation
Sometimes you just inform your partner
Because what you are discussing does not call for deliberation
Stuffs like deciding on the number of kids you are going to have takesdeliberation
Don’t assume you will cross the bridge when you get there
Don’t just sit there and be looking like lucozade especially if you have a contrary opinion
✍️
How you will run your future home in every aspect deserves deliberation
5. Encouragement
You not in that relationship as a figure head
When your partner is down you should encourage them
You are not there just to be there
Challenge or no challenge, issue or no issue you should always encourage each other to do better
When they are going through a difficult time they should know that they are not alone
Encourage each other to progress
Encourage each other to become the better version of what you used to be
Relationship is the headquarters of offence
6. Forgiveness
Or let’s say Romantic Relationship is the headquarters of offence
You will always offend each other but must be ready to forgive
As long as what they do is not going to destroy your future
Forgive and move on
If there is a particular error they seems so addicted to and they can’t but do it and you know you can’t live with it, forgive them and move on with your life
That you should forgive does not implies that you marry rubbish
It is well with us in Jesus name
7.Good Character
If your character stinks, stop looking for someone that will tolerate and accept you the way you are
Be sincere to yourself that you have bad character and change
It is simple
Don’t say that is me o
If you can’t take me for me forget it
My dear, who are you🌚
You better change
Be kind
Be compassionate
Work on your anger
Work on your weaknesses
Nobody is perfect but you shouldn’t be wallowing in bad behavior
8.Hardwork
Making anything successful out of Courtship or marriage is hardwork
You must be deliberate in making it work
You must work hard in your field to, and make something meaningful out of life
Working hard and smart makes life easy for you, your spouse and your children
It is easy to show plenty love when there is money compare when there is no money
It is easy to love when there is money than when there is no money
9.Interest
Show interest in what interest them
What do they love to do? Show interest in it, so far they are not sinning against God
If you don’t see yourself liking what they like for anything in this world, just know that you are with the wrong person
And if you go ahead and marry them, expect a lot of friction concerning that thing in future
When you show interest in what interest them they show more interest in you
10.Knowledge
With Wisdom a house is built,
And you know wisdom is the application of knowledge
Which means if you don’t equip yourself with knowledge you will not be categorize as one with Wisdom
You will not be able to build a lasting home
You will not be able to build a home that can stand the test of storms and challenges
Many of you does not know how to get God’s will, you passed by my book You can’t pay the price of missing God’s will and Finding God’s will” but show no interest🤷🏽♀️
Get books
How will somebody not miss it like that
You don’t know a thing and you refuse to go after knowledge🌚
Get books
Many people have run this race successfully and have come back to show you the way, pls follow them and stop doing Awnnn and God when all over sociol media
11. Love
What are you doing with someone you don’t love🌚
Only to force yourself into marriage and be regretting
There is no reason no matter how reasonable it sounds that should make you marry someone that you don’t love
Another thing about love is that,
Love is an action word
Love is to be acted out
If you say to someone that you love them, they won’t be convinced except your actions in the past says the same thing
You must love in doings not by mouth
12. Openness
If you are secretive, i don’t advise you go into Courtship talk more of marriage
You must be open
I didn’t say open your legs🌚
Open your mouth and talk, let them know what is going on with you
Let them know what is going on in your life
Anything you won’t want them to know don’t engage in it
Don’t forget prayer in all you do
13. Prayer, Planning, Patient &Progress
To communicate and deliberate is good but don’t forget to put your life and journey in God’s hand
Don’t forget to thank Him
N don’t because of relationship sweetness forget that you are to intercede and supplicate
Now is the time to start planning your life together
Plan for the present and the future together
Any Relationship without plans will be full of uncertainty
Be patient with each other
It won’t go once, but be sure they are making progress
Give yourselves time to work on your weaknesses
Also your relationship as a whole must be progressive
Go from one stage to another
What progress is in relationship that takes forever to get married
That is why I usually say go into Courtship when marriage is in view
14.Respect
Respect your partner’s opinion even if you won’t use their contribution at the end of the day don’t just discard it like its useless
Respect each others
15. Sincerity and selflessness
If you are selfish, no relationship whatsoever is for you
You must be selfless
You must have your partner in mind
You must priorities their need as long as they are not asking you to sin against God
In fact you must put them first
What if their need is not something I can priorities, it is the pointer that you are with the wrong person
SincerityDon’t lie to them for whatever ret
SincerityDon’t lie to them for whatever reason, let them know what is going on with you
Tell them nothing but the truth
Don’t call black, white
Be straight forward
And that is when they can truly trust you
You must be transparent, sincere to be trusted
16. Transparency breeds Trust
Trust doesn’t fall on people like rain
You can’t say, why can’t you trust me
You are the one to put yourself in a place to be trusted
17.Understanding
That is what understanding simply means
You must bear with each other
Be empathic
Put yourself in their shoeCourtship is not marriage, but the foundation for marriage, but don’t forget that if you don’t lay a solid foundation, the build you are about to raise will collapse when you are barely starting