A tweet generated attention. The young man said he was divorcing his wife because he couldn’t be negotiating for X(sex). He said he helps with the house chores but they only had X twice in 2years. He believed the wife starved him of intercourse in marriage which she freely gave to him in courtship. Many people in the comment session believed wives starved husbands to get one thing or the other from them, especially in MONOGAMY.Some wives may starve their husbands intentionally but in most cases, it is not an act of starvation or direct wickedness. There is more to X in marriage than what you have in courtship or dating which is actually fornication.
First, when a lady opens her legs for a man she’s dating, she’s trying to secure the relationship. The motive changes when marriage has happened. Before you judge her, keep reading.When a man chases after a lady while trying to woo her and gives her attention in courtship, he’s trying to secure her. Once marriage set him, the lady would be wondering “What happened to all the attention”. It disappears. Even with the finest man, the attention will disappear before reappearing.So, when a lady is married to you, she’s no longer giving X to secure the home, she gives it because she’s happy. That’s where the issue comes in. On the other hand, a man doesn’t want X because he’s happy, he wants it because he feels like it just like an appetite.
I tell you, it takes intentional efforts to get a woman happy every day of her marriage life. Due to the female complex nature, anything can piss her off, anything can off her mood, anything can hurt her. And she requires the man to pick her up each time. The man may readily pick her up if he’s served a tasty meal (X) but she’s not mentally ready to give that. And it could be strenuous for a man to keep picking her up as well. The more emotional and sensitive the lady, the more stress it poses on the man who is not ready to tender his plants.This is not making an excuse for the female gender but it is what it is. The attention you give her in courtship, she wants 2x of that!When there’s a continuous conflict over x and she doesn’t want to be guilty of the marriage, the woman will resort to what is called “dry x”. This is when the woman is not in the mood but feels obligated to open her legs to her husband. It is said that “dry legs kill the excitement in the long run”. It kills the excitement both in the man and in the lady.When issues are not resolved and x can’t happen, it builds up anger in the woman and lusts in the man. Lust itself is a sin and can lead to sexual attraction with a foreigner.What can be done?
I don’t think any man can happily live with a woman if the woman does not adjust her hurt level and increase the rate at which she forgets and lets go. An intentional effort is needed here that’s why the Bible tells the wife to SUBMIT. That’s an order.
No wife can happily live with a man who doesn’t care about the silly things the woman cares about and complains about. Your wife can complain about the dust on the tip of your shoelaces. And would nag for greeting a female friend too much. At times, it could be silly things and at times, it could be serious things. That’s why the Bible talks about loving her regardless- again, it’s an order). The Bible also says she’s DELICATE/FRAGILE, treat her like an egg.
Last Note-
Do you know why the elders advise couples not to sleep with an unresolved offence, they believe that X must happen every night and resolving all issues is the only way to do it.Summary- many good wives do not intentionally withdraw from s3x but it is against their nature to give it where all the t are not crossed. In fact, she can give food when angry or unhappy, not x. Both must work intentionally to get it right. Many do not get it right until old age after all their children have graduated from school.
S3X Starvation in marriage – Pst.Ife ADETONA
